Welcome to “Six Sentence Sunday”. Thank you for visiting and especially for any comments you might feel inclined to offer.
Today’s six comes from a little novelette I’m writing as a companion to my debut novel, The P.U.R.E. This is the current opening of the story I’ve tentatively titled, Purely Relative. The six is mostly backstory, I must confess. I know, I know, starting with pure backstory is bad, but it’s just a draft for now and I thought it was kind of funny. May end up on the cutting room floor, so read it now or never.
Most people think meeting your boyfriend’s family is a hallmark event of commitment. I’d have rather been committed than go to the Cripps’ home for a home-cooked Thanksgiving meal. Oh, I loved a gluttonous Thanksgiving feast as much as anyone. That wasn’t the problem. Walking into his home and wondering how much Jon’s sister, Jenny shared about the night she sort of met me was what kept me on a steady diet of fingernails and the lining of my mouth. Catching me and her little brother buck naked, going at it in her guest bedroom probably wasn’t the best way to announce he’d traded his long time family friend and fiancée for some short blonde chick with a fat ass.
Now that sounds like a great way to make a first impression! Haha…poor Gayle.
Be sure to check out the host site, Six Sentence Sunday, for links to more tantalizing snippets from some very talented writers.
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Sandra Bunino (@SandraBunino)
August 12, 2012 at 5:08 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Aww, Gayle’s a little hard on herself! I’m sure Mr and Mrs Cripps will adore her, just like Jon. I don’t mind a little backstory in the beginning. IMHO, It grounds the reader and tells them where she is in the story and how she got there.
I’m looking forward to the continuation of The P.U.R.E.! You’re off to a great start!
Claire Gillian
August 12, 2012 at 5:25 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Thanks. Yeah, gotta have it in there somewhere, just wasn’t sure if it being the very first six would work or not. Favorable response so far, so I’ll leave it for now.
Dee Carney
August 12, 2012 at 6:07 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Oops. Not the best intro at all. lol
Claire Gillian
August 12, 2012 at 5:26 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
LOL…thanks!
S. J. Maylee
August 12, 2012 at 6:52 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
If that’s how you write backstory you’d better not throw it out. That 6 was high entertainment. I’d bet she has a beautiful ass. I want more.
Claire Gillian
August 12, 2012 at 5:27 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Thank you! She DOES have a beautiful ass, but try convincing HER of it. LOL
Stephanie/Elise
August 12, 2012 at 7:56 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Hilarious! I remember that scene well. It doesn’t read like boring backstory because it’s funny and sexy.
Claire Gillian
August 12, 2012 at 5:27 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Thank you, darlin’!
Angela Quarles
August 12, 2012 at 8:23 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
It’s all in how you tell backstory, and this is a great example of it done well– shows her humor and personality and it’s entertaining! As long as the reader is entertained….
Poor Gayle, it does sound like a rough way to meet a member of the family and I can already feel her anxiety about meeting the rest, wondering how much they know, and to also go into it knowing she was the one to replace an old family friend? Yikes!
Claire Gillian
August 12, 2012 at 5:28 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Poor Gayle. I plan on torturing her without mercy during this little shindig. heh-heh. Thanks, Angela.
Ryan Derham
August 12, 2012 at 9:07 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
I agree with the others on the backstory. Totally works here, as does your humor. Gayle’s in for a rough ride ahead…Added to the one she’s already had with Jon and this is gonna be a fun read.
Claire Gillian
August 12, 2012 at 5:28 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Thanks, Ryan!
sueannbowlingauthor
August 12, 2012 at 9:50 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Sounds lie a great start to me.
Claire Gillian
August 12, 2012 at 5:29 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Thanks, Sue Ann.
emaginette
August 12, 2012 at 11:01 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Love it.
I remember that moment in the book she was referring to and I laughed out loud–snorted a little too.
I’m such a lady.
Claire Gillian
August 12, 2012 at 4:43 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Thanks, E. I was hoping those who had read The PURE would remember it and those who hadn’t would want to. heh-heh. We’re all little voyeuristic at times though I’d NEVER want to be in Gayle’s shoes.
Silver
August 12, 2012 at 12:42 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
This. Is. Awesome. Just sayin’… Love your voice. Terrific six!
Claire Gillian
August 12, 2012 at 5:29 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Appreciate your kind words, Silver!
Tempeste O'Riley
August 12, 2012 at 3:33 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
What a way to meet the sis… I’d have wanted to skip the dinner too. Great flashback / six!
Claire Gillian
August 12, 2012 at 5:33 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Thanks, Tempeste.
SilverBirch
August 22, 2012 at 4:58 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Yay, more Gayle and Jon! Looking forward to reading it!
Claire Gillian
August 23, 2012 at 6:12 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Thanks, Silver! I need to get all kinds of busy on it though! Argh the interruptions are killing me.
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