Marlene screen cap from movie Shangai Express (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Well hello there! Long time no chat.

I’ve been busy…stewing in my worries:

Worried about my blogs being attacked and destroyed again. (do I restore or move on? what else should I be doing? what was that spam comment about? was that a scout for more attacks? why me?)  -20 pts

Worried about my outstanding submissions (they hate them, they like them but are having a hard time convincing acquisitions, they lost them, they’re too busy, they don’t think they’re special enough to even warrant a response, they’re passing my query / manuscript around the office as an example of what not to do, should I nudge or be patient?) -15 pts

Worried about the book I’m editing (is it boring? lacking emotional depth? unfunny in a pathetic kind of way? a hallmark of a clueless amateur? just plain stupid?) -5 pts

Worried about my self-published book, which was free for a while but no longer is, really doing nothing more than encouraging a few hoarders to add one more book to their colossal TBR piles (which should really be labeled NBROC = Never Be Read Only Collected like the crazy lady who collects cats but can’t possibly take care of them all.) -10 pts

Worried my online persona comes off too much like Marlene Dietrich (I vant to be alone) or Woody Allen—paranoid and needy only much less talented—or ego-centric like Scarlet O’Hara. This post is clearly exhibit Z. -10 pts

Worried about my job (new boss, dark secrets I can’t share, peoples’ livelihoods in my hands, my own tentative future, what if I have to go job-hunting?…good gravy I’m old…a place like Google wouldn’t even hire me to do basic accounting because the whole employment world is Abercrombie and Fitch in some respects and I’m the fat girl they don’t even want to be seen wearing their clothes.) -50 pts

Worried my husband’s a little too prepared for the zombie apocalypse / North Korean invasion / alien invasion / Mad Max-like societal deterioration when the water runs out and the power grid goes down and the underground Tremor worms come out to feast. -5 pts

So yeah…I been a little busy fighting windmills in my head.

But on the bright side:

I (Lila) signed with a new publisher for a novella releasing in late Q3 or early Q4! Thank you, Liquid Silver Books! +20 pts

I (Lila) had a short story accepted by an anthology. Thank you, Evernight Publishing. +15 pts

Those agents and publishers with my full manuscripts (three of them) haven’t said “no” yet either. +15 pts

I’m ahead of my Goodreads 2013 Reading Challenge pace by eight (8) books. Never underestimate the therapeutic powers of a good or even mediocre book. +5 pts

My new boss actually seems like a nice guy who values my opinion…worth its weight in gold. +10 pts

My youngest son is getting straight A’s and has lettered in band. (If you knew the meandering path he took before he finally had the epiphany that led this achievement, you’d be even more amazed. Count me amongst the believers in the power of music to soothe the savage beast.) +15 pts

My oldest is finally taking pride in his appearance and might actually have a girlfriend…or at least a girl friend. See the difference a single space makes? Yeah, that’s how real life works sometimes too. +10 pts

My husband actually seems to still love me after twenty-two years. And so does my dog.  +23 pts

So…in summary, and because it’s always about the math, I give my mental health a:  -115 + 113 = -2.

Writing this post gave me a +5 boost, so right now, at this very moment, I’m a +3, but like a weather vane, easily redirected by the lightest of breezes.

On that positive note (literally) and before the winds change, I’ll bid you adieu and get back to editing His Acadian Lady.