Why the Kardashian’s are famous
Why Jon Gosselin was stupid enough to mess around
Why John Edwards didn’t wear a rubber
Why I have to worry about my word choices, such as in the previous point about John Edwards’ willy hat (or lack thereof), so that I don’t get all kinds of nasty spam comments
Why WWF is unapologetically melodramatic
People who leave their shopping carts in the parking space next to their car instead of pushing it 5 feet to the corral
The appeal of Pokemon and Yu Gi Oh cards
Why Batman thought wearing that black and grey costume was a good idea
Why he let Robin wear an even more ridiculous green and yellow costume
The appeal of The Jonas Brothers, Miley Cyrus and Taylor Swift
Carl’s Jr. commercials
Why Dancing With the Stars uses crappy ripoff music while So You Think You Can Dance uses the real thing.
Any reality TV shows that involves kissing and how under such a microscope, the contestants profess to actually be in love with each other, despite the lack of privacy and a bevvy of rivals.
Why my sons are unable to hit the toilet with their pee or their laundry baskets with their dirty clothes but will spend hours shooting a soccer ball at a goal.
Why my salad and large diet coke cost over $8 at McDonalds the other day but breakfast at Ikea cost only 99 cents.
Flowery prose–I get all confused. I need simple, direct prose. I don’t need a one page description of the story’s setting. I can usually get a feel for these things in a couple of paragraphs. Call me psychic. I don’t know.
Why the list of things I don’t understand gets longer as I age.