Who Says CPAs Aren’t Sexy

The main characters in my current WIP are both CPA’s.  When I posted the first draft of my query at AW, as well as the first chapter, the feedback I got was overwhelmingly negative.  “CPA’s are sooo not sexy!  Lawyers are sexy; CPA’s aren’t.”  Oh yeah, says who?

I wonder if John Grisham was told when he first wrote The Firm, “Dude, everyone hates lawyers.  No one will sympathize with a lawyer running from the mob.  Everyone will root for the bad guys.”  They were wrong then and they’re wrong now.  Why is it that people assume that anyone in a meticulous, left-brained type job, especially a solitary one (scientists, accountants, actuaries, mathemeticians, programmers) leads a dull life and is humdrum in the sack?

I’d like to explain why I believe that the exact opposite is true.  It’s really quite simple.  A person doing a detailed, non people-oriented job is starved for social interaction at the end of the day.  He or she has most likely been staring at a computer, butt in a chair, for hours on end.  The mind has probably taken a few mental excursions into the spicier side of life while the computer booted up, while that program compiled, while the internet went on a short hiatus, or when the brain finally said, “Enough, I need a break!  let’s think about nasty stuff!”  A body like that gets home and “Hello!  Where’s my partner?!”

When my book is published (notice I say “when” and not “if”), watch out.  Instead of CSI, we’ll see a rash of CPA shows.  CPA-Los Angeles, CPA-New York and my personal favorite “Walker, Texas CPA”.

The public has no idea the kind of hijinks that those crazy CPA’s can get into–going wild with new standard implementations, going out on a limb to change accounting methods (can you say LIFO to FIFO?), and don’t even get me started on the inventory observation possibilities!  Monk could make a guest appearance and help the CPA’s discover how the client fraudulently inflated their inventories by putting water in the oil silo or how they put empty packaging materials in the shipping boxes and then counted them as filled with high-priced product.  Then for a more paranormal angle, we’ll have our intrepid CPA’s venture into the high stakes, high risk world of derivatives and other intangibles (mortgage servicing rights being especially salacious these days).  I tell you, after a day like that, CPA John Doe’s wife will be walking funny tomorrow.  Remember, you heard it here first.