Claire

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Today I have a new installment in my “Regrettable Books A to Z™” series. For those of you new to my series, this is 100% parody. You are more than welcome to laugh, snicker and guffaw at my amateurish photoshopping and blurb writing. Bad is good. Good is bad.

OK, so tapping into the revenge trope, we have:

V is for Viral Video

First the tagline:

He humiliated her in the board room, now he’ll pay in the bedroom.

The blurb:

Desiree Knight knows good jobs are hard to come by. She should. She’s just lost hers thanks to the half-baked recommendations of a big shot consultant. Middle management like Desiree might be easy targets for corporate cut backs, but their loss is always felt. Desiree is going to make sure of it.

Tolliver Daix is the one they hire when they need the best. His keen ability to sniff out the corporate fat is the stuff of legends. His cold-hearted delivery of the bad news—an extra service in his palette of rightsizing tools—is equally notorious.

With revenge on her mind, Desiree targets Tolliver for a special sort of seduction. A well-hidden camera captures all she needs to ruin the man’s reputation and his engagement to the daughter of one of the most prominent politicians in the country. But when the video of Desiree and Tolliver’s kinky sex play leaks to the Internet and goes viral, Desiree is horrified to discover Tolliver is not at all the man she thought he was.

He’s worse.

He’s the brother she never knew she had.

OMG!

Hmm, I could actually see myself writing this one, well…except for the incest part, of course.

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Disclaimer: “Regrettable Books A to Z™” is a completely fictional (duh!) creation for parody purposes only. I have no product beyond what you see in this post. Photos are public domain or stock photos I have purchased. This is not a commercial purpose, however, I retain any and all creative story rights in the highly unlikely event I accidentally create something that might be worth a damn.

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U is for UFO

First the tagline:

Is she his passion or merely a fringe benefit of an interplanetary directive to seek and conquer?

The blurb:

Men may be from Mars and women from Venus, but Stella’s had it with the ones who act like total jerks and then blame it on some stupid book. She’s ready to branch out into an entirely different solar system in search of everlasting love….but she’s speaking figuratively, isn’t she?

Gork has been sent from his home of Tattooink in a galaxy far, far away. His mission: find a planet with alien life forms capable of sustaining his species and their voracious sexual appetites.

When Gork crash lands in Stella’s pool, she has no idea she’s about to have a close encounter of the erotic kind, and that once she enters Gork’s sexual vortex, there will be no escaping. But is escape what she really wants or will she and her earthly sisters embrace a race like nothing ever produced on “Mars”, threatening very the existence of their own?

Stay tuned for the sequel, Alien Safeword: Nanu-Nanu coming in 2015 from Regrettable Publishing! nom-nom