Claire

The blurb:

What’s a plain Amish woman to do when separated from her family’s buggy and marooned amongst the English? Well, when in Rome…and Sarah Yoder is most definitely a Christian amongst hungry Roman lions.

Sandy-haired thrill-seeker, Randy Shaaft is instantly smitten with the demure Amish woman he spies wandering aimlessly through the slopes of the local skateboard park. Randy is used to women swooning over his rippling biceps and abs, not blushing fifty shades of crimson. He’s certain, however, that a passionate heart beats beneath all those layers of calico.

Despite his adolescent appearance, Rudy “Red” Taylor plays a mean game of hard ball in his dealings with pro athletes. The cool, calculating ginger is not the least bit prepared, however, for the kick in the gut delivered by the woman on his client’s arm at the Annual Skateboarding Awards Ball. He’s determined to be the one to introduce Sarah to his soul-sucking brand of lovemaking.

A wild night of animal passion with both men rocks Sarah’s world forever. She knows she can never return to her simple ways as surely as she knows she will have to choose between the two men. But will the choice be Sarah’s or will she be the spoils of a death match between a ruthless ginger and a free-wheeling blonde?

Have you ever tried hunting for Amish women stock photos that don’t have extra restrictions on their uses? Sheesh, you’d think the Amish wanted to keep a low profile or something.

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Disclaimer: “Regrettable Books A to Z™” is a completely fictional (duh!) creation for parody purposes only. I have no product beyond what you see in this post. Photos are public domain or stock photos I have purchased. This is not a commercial purpose, however, I retain any and all creative story rights in the highly unlikely event I accidentally create something that might be worth a damn.

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Today I have a new installment in my “Regrettable Books A to Z™” series. For those of you new to my series, this is 100% parody. You are more than welcome to laugh, snicker and guffaw at my amateurish photoshopping and blurb writing. Bad is good. Good is bad.

I’m catching up letter-wise today because I missed a day when I was on vacation by accident. Normally Sunday is a no post day…but not today!

Q is for Quid Pro Quo and this one is somewhat NSFW, but mostly because of the cover.

I was exchanging comments on Goodreads with a couple of friends about Bared to You by Sylvia Day. Eventually the comments turned to the plethora of billionaire romances and how they were getting a little overdone. My friends wrote that they wanted to read a love story where the heroine is the billionaire instead of the hero. I thought that sounded like a great idea so long as the heroine isn’t some drop dead gorgeous cougar who looks ten years younger. That, my friends, was the genesis of today’s Regrettable:

First the tagline:

Money can’t buy love, but it can make a nice down payment.

The blurb:

Regina Dingler married for love. Too bad her husband married for money. When the philandering dirtbag dies, a succession of mistresses emerge, each with a sordid tale, an open palm, and a hotshot attorney. No point in buying the bimbos’ silence because apparently everyone except Regina has known all along. The last thing she wants, however, is pity and certainly not at her dead husband’s funeral.

For Lot O’Toole playing arm candy to a wealthy widow is just another day’s work for a top shelf gigolo. If some old gal wants to thumb her nose at a few of her hens, that’s fine with him. She’s paying top dollar for his time and any other parts of him she might require. He’ll just remind himself to “think of England” even though he lives in Phoenix.

When the mistresses join forces to challenge the late Mr. Dingler’s will and pre-nuptial agreement, Lot comes to Regina’s rescue. He is pleasantly surprised to discover the wicked sense of humor his client has been hiding beneath her plain Jane exterior. Soon, thoughts of England turn into thoughts of E ticket rides at Disneyland. But can Lot ever offer the one part of himself he’s kept a virgin all these years–his heart? Will Regina ever be able to trust a man to love her for anything but her money? And what of the mistresses? Will there be a special edition The Bachelor reality show produced just for them?

Oh my! I could totally see myself writing this with a heaping dose of snark. Some day…maybe.

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