Today I have a new installment in my “Regrettable Books A to Z™” series. For those of you new to my series, this is 100% parody. You are more than welcome to laugh, snicker and guffaw at my amateurish photoshopping and blurb writing. Bad is good. Good is bad.
R is for Ruthless.
I know I already did an Amish-themed romance as well as a fighting love triangle, but any-who, let’s try a little South Park humor today.
First the tagline:
A young woman’s Amish upbringing never prepared her for the sensual passions of loving two men. Both wish to possess her. One is willing to kill for her.
What’s a plain Amish woman to do when separated from her family’s buggy and marooned amongst the English? Well, when in Rome…and Sarah Yoder is most definitely a Christian amongst hungry Roman lions.
Sandy-haired thrill-seeker, Randy Shaaft is instantly smitten with the demure Amish woman he spies wandering aimlessly through the slopes of the local skateboard park. Randy is used to women swooning over his rippling biceps and abs, not blushing fifty shades of crimson. He’s certain, however, that a passionate heart beats beneath all those layers of calico.
Despite his adolescent appearance, Rudy “Red” Taylor plays a mean game of hard ball in his dealings with pro athletes. The cool, calculating ginger is not the least bit prepared, however, for the kick in the gut delivered by the woman on his client’s arm at the Annual Skateboarding Awards Ball. He’s determined to be the one to introduce Sarah to his soul-sucking brand of lovemaking.
A wild night of animal passion with both men rocks Sarah’s world forever. She knows she can never return to her simple ways as surely as she knows she will have to choose between the two men. But will the choice be Sarah’s or will she be the spoils of a death match between a ruthless ginger and a free-wheeling blonde?
Have you ever tried hunting for Amish women stock photos that don’t have extra restrictions on their uses? Sheesh, you’d think the Amish wanted to keep a low profile or something.
Disclaimer: “Regrettable Books A to Z™” is a completely fictional (duh!) creation for parody purposes only. I have no product beyond what you see in this post. Photos are public domain or stock photos I have purchased. This is not a commercial purpose, however, I retain any and all creative story rights in the highly unlikely event I accidentally create something that might be worth a damn.
Two words. Randy shaft. Positively sublime.
Okay, that’s four. Hilarious, thanks.
No, he’s Dutch so it’s Shaaft with 2 a’s. 😉 Heh-heh. Thanks for the visit and comment.
You know, that tagline is quite witty and it would work… if it were written for another novel.
Oh my…it might work, but I wouldn’t read it. It would be a Witness meets Play Misty for Me. Yeah, revealing my age with those 2 references. Eek!
Thanks, Veronica! 🙂
I don’t think I understand romance. Why would you go for the violent guy?
I don’t think she knew he was violent. It came out later.
Randy shaafft? Skateboard park? Fifty shades of crimson – you are not subtle! Do you purchase the photos? – I’ll follow you anywhere –
I’m not subtle? No…LOL…I don’t suppose I am.
Yes, I do purchase most of the photographs. You may notice a few get used multiple times…well tomorrow’s fer shur has some mileage on the main guy. Some I get free from the stock photo sites like when they offer a freebee every week at iStock or Fotolia or Dreamstine. I also like to use vintage photos that are now copyright free as well as my own photography from time to time. Some are crappy quality proofs, but I try to steer away from those or buy after the fact.
To be or not to be?
Is that really the question?
I love that title. The Ruthless Ginger. Makes me laugh… probably not what the author intended.
Patricia Lynne, YA Author
Oh, laughter is definitely what the author intended. Lila Shaw is me too. 🙂 These are all totally fake books so laugh away. Thanks for visiting me, Patricia!