Hubby is going out of town until Tuesday afternoon. While I’ll miss him, the other part of me is quickly inventorying a list of “Things to do that Mr. Babs absolutely despises and Things to do that I’d be embarrassed to have Mr. Babs see me do”.

Am I a bad wife to feel a little thrill over this? If so, I’ll blame my mother. When I was a young girl, Dad frequently made long military trips leaving my mother, younger sister and I to fend for ourselves. This meant: trips to McDonald’s, trips to the pool, trips to K Mart and other fun stores and alternating nights sleeping in the big king sized bed with Mom. As a 60’s stay at home Mom, I’m sure she relished those opportunties to be the supreme ruler of the roost.

So what’s on the list? Well, let’s see:

1. Watch tear-jerkers and chick flicks–trip to video store required
2. Spend hours online chatting, shopping, etc
3. Control the TV clicker and seek out exciting new infomercials, especially fitness ones. I haven’t seen the Billy Blanks’ Bootcamp one yet.
4. Catch up with my seldom visited message boards.
5. Try on my smaller sized clothes and lingerie to see if I’ve lost enough weight to fit into my sexier duds.
6. Experiment with meals containing any of the following ingredients: beans, collards, kale, broccoli, cauliflower, salmon, halibut, Indian spices, lentils…but not necessarily in the same dish.
7. Do some of those “I told you so” chores–the ones he’s been nagging me to do but I can’t bring myself to do in his presence because I can’t bear all the, “there, isn’t that much better?” comments.
8. Read all the juicy parts of my favorite romance novels (I should probably read these right before he gets home though, if ya know what I mean…)
9. Exercise to my dvd’s whenever and however long I want in front of the big screen TV.
10. Indulge in my favorite daydreams.
11. Play some albums and cassettes that haven’t seen the light of day in over a decade. (Yes, I still have vinyl albums, even some 45’s!!)
12. Watch my Seinfeld and Alias dvd’s.
13. Sleep in the middle of the bed.
14. Look at pictures of and miss my dear heart.

Just a brief explanation of my “Babs” moniker. When my husband and I first married, we were “Babe” this and “Babe” that til one day I decided I was tired of that old trite term of endearment. So I dropped the silent “e” and added an “s” and “Babs” was born. He was “Babs” and so was I and it has stuck for some 12 years now. Mind you, this is NOT a nickname that any self-respecting male would want to be called in public and my dear husband is no exception. I just don’t know what we’ll do though if and when we finally get to appear on The Amazing Race.

Me:

Babs, look at the map!!

Him:

I told you not to call me that, Phil is watching!

Me:

OK…Mr Babs! Let’s go.