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This month’s prompt: the Mini Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

The Mini Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest means trying to write the worst possible first line of a book or story in the spirit of Edward “It was a dark and stormy night…” Bulwer-Lytton. “Worst” in this case is subjective, but florid and ridiculous purple prose is probably closest to the spirit of the thing. Here is a page of examples if you need ’em.

Each post must consist of a single sentence of any length but less than 50-60 words.  (Mine’s 61 words…sorry…but all the words are easy to read)

I was preceded in the chain by Orion_mk3 and will be followed by Dolores Haze.  A complete list of participants follows at the end.  I’ve renamed myself after my maternal grandmother, first pet name dash first street name (though I really had no idea, but looked up the Air Force base on a map and picked a road from the military housing area).

Here’s my attempt:

Summer oozed to a putrid halt when, speakerphone on, Krista punched 8 and 6, for her number of left and right ear piercings, 7, for infections contracted, 5, for doctor visits, 3, for courses of antibiotics prescribed, 0, for insurance coverage, and 1, which was exactly the number of rings heard before a recording announced Piercings by Jenny had been disconnected.

~ Lady Doris Dice-Cypress

orion_mk3 – http://nonexistentbooks.wordpress.com (link to this month’s post)
AuburnAssassin – YOU ARE HERE
dolores haze – http://dianedooley.wordpress.com/ (link to this month’s post)
Horseflye – http://thecozylittleplot.blogspot.com/ (link to this month’s post)
Proach – http://www.deannaproach.com/ (link to this month’s post)
xcomplex – http://arielemerald.blogspot.com/ (link to this month’s post)
BigWords – http://bigwords88.wordpress.com/ (link to this month’s post)
jkellerford – http://jennykellerford.wordpress.com/ (link to this month’s post)
Ralph Pines – http://ralfast.wordpress.com/ (link to this month’s post)
Euclid – http://euclid-thoughts.blogspot.com/ (link to this month’s post)
Diana Rajchel – http://dianarajchel.com (link to this month’s post)
pezie – http://www.erinbrambilla.wordpress.com/ (link to this month’s post)
Guardian – http://daewrites.blogspot.com/ (link to this month’s post)
egoodlett – http://wordlarceny.blogspot.com/ (link to this month’s post)
Alpha Echo – http://writersramblings81.blogspot.com/ (link to this month’s post)