Blogging A to Z

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Today I have a new installment in my “Regrettable Books A to Z™” series. For those of you new to my series, this is 100% parody. You are more than welcome to laugh, snicker and guffaw at my amateurish photoshopping and blurb writing. Bad is good. Good is bad.

And now for something completely different…

W is for Wife-Carrying, as in the sport of.

First the tagline:

She ain’t heavy…she’s my wife.

The blurb:

Gunnar Riker and his wife are the favorites to win the Wife Carrying World Championships in Sonkajärvi, Finland this year…that is until Gunnar’s wife leaves him for the husband of last year’s winning couple. After training for years to win the coveted prize, what’s a star athlete to do?

Tap his American ex-patriot neighbor, Camille Greene, to fill in, that’s what!

Camille might have noticed her hunky next door neighbor in “that” way once or twice but never put any further thought into it. She doesn’t date married men, thank you very much, even big, muscular Finns with attractive bulges. But when Gunnar invites her over for a reindeer steak and announces he’s reclaimed his bachelor status, she’s intrigued. When he asks her to be his partner in the wife carrying competition, Camille is flabbergasted. She has two issues: 1. she isn’t married to Gunnar and 2. no way will they have a shot since her healthy size ten body is much bigger and heavier than his ex-wife’s size zero figure. As much as she’d like to have Gunnar’s head between her thighs, she’s never once imagined it would be in the Estonian hold.

Agree she does, however, and soon Camille’s emotions are wrangled into more than just a sporting partnership. But when Gunnar’s ex returns to reclaim her man, will Camille bow out or will she fight for her right to be carried over the winning threshold.

Image from Wikipedia, Author: Steve Jurvetson, Source: http://www.flickr.com/photos/jurvetson/641867/

I am seriously planning on writing this one so consider this a sneak peek at a future story from me.

Ok, so for fun, here’s a peek at the real deal:

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Disclaimer: “Regrettable Books A to Z™” is a completely fictional (duh!) creation for parody purposes only. I have no product beyond what you see in this post. Photos are public domain or stock photos I have purchased. This is not a commercial purpose, however, I retain any and all creative story rights in the highly unlikely event I accidentally create something that might be worth a damn.

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OK, so tapping into the revenge trope, we have:

V is for Viral Video

First the tagline:

He humiliated her in the board room, now he’ll pay in the bedroom.

The blurb:

Desiree Knight knows good jobs are hard to come by. She should. She’s just lost hers thanks to the half-baked recommendations of a big shot consultant. Middle management like Desiree might be easy targets for corporate cut backs, but their loss is always felt. Desiree is going to make sure of it.

Tolliver Daix is the one they hire when they need the best. His keen ability to sniff out the corporate fat is the stuff of legends. His cold-hearted delivery of the bad news—an extra service in his palette of rightsizing tools—is equally notorious.

With revenge on her mind, Desiree targets Tolliver for a special sort of seduction. A well-hidden camera captures all she needs to ruin the man’s reputation and his engagement to the daughter of one of the most prominent politicians in the country. But when the video of Desiree and Tolliver’s kinky sex play leaks to the Internet and goes viral, Desiree is horrified to discover Tolliver is not at all the man she thought he was.

He’s worse.

He’s the brother she never knew she had.

OMG!

Hmm, I could actually see myself writing this one, well…except for the incest part, of course.

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