Today I have a new installment in my “Regrettable Books A to Z™” series. For those of you new to my series, this is 100% parody. You are more than welcome to laugh, snicker and guffaw at my amateurish photoshopping and blurb writing. Bad is good. Good is bad.
And now for something completely different…
W is for Wife-Carrying, as in the sport of.
First the tagline:
She ain’t heavy…she’s my wife.
Gunnar Riker and his wife are the favorites to win the Wife Carrying World Championships in Sonkajärvi, Finland this year…that is until Gunnar’s wife leaves him for the husband of last year’s winning couple. After training for years to win the coveted prize, what’s a star athlete to do?
Tap his American ex-patriot neighbor, Camille Greene, to fill in, that’s what!
Camille might have noticed her hunky next door neighbor in “that” way once or twice but never put any further thought into it. She doesn’t date married men, thank you very much, even big, muscular Finns with attractive bulges. But when Gunnar invites her over for a reindeer steak and announces he’s reclaimed his bachelor status, she’s intrigued. When he asks her to be his partner in the wife carrying competition, Camille is flabbergasted. She has two issues: 1. she isn’t married to Gunnar and 2. no way will they have a shot since her healthy size ten body is much bigger and heavier than his ex-wife’s size zero figure. As much as she’d like to have Gunnar’s head between her thighs, she’s never once imagined it would be in the Estonian hold.
Agree she does, however, and soon Camille’s emotions are wrangled into more than just a sporting partnership. But when Gunnar’s ex returns to reclaim her man, will Camille bow out or will she fight for her right to be carried over the winning threshold.
Image from Wikipedia, Author: Steve Jurvetson, Source: http://www.flickr.com/photos/jurvetson/641867/
I am seriously planning on writing this one so consider this a sneak peek at a future story from me.
Ok, so for fun, here’s a peek at the real deal:
Disclaimer: “Regrettable Books A to Z™” is a completely fictional (duh!) creation for parody purposes only. I have no product beyond what you see in this post. Photos are public domain or stock photos I have purchased. This is not a commercial purpose, however, I retain any and all creative story rights in the highly unlikely event I accidentally create something that might be worth a damn.
The older I get the more nothing surprises me – that did though – good research Claire! My friend in the UK shares their unique brand of festival also. It usually includes pudding
Ooh…pudding? Hmm…a future Regrettable perhaps? I don’t know where I first saw the wife-carrying competition. Winner gets his wife’s weight in beer as the prize. So fat wife or skinny wife–they are both contenders for different reasons. heh-heh. Good thing my husband likes beer…but not enough to make up for his bad knees, alas. No Finland for us. 😦
Lol, sound fabulous fun, if it gets written!
Maybe someday… I have more ambition and ideas than perseverance. Thanks for the visit, Liz!
Oh god…. XD
Oh my gosh, this is so funny. Especially after attending a writing conference and a month plus of listening to a previous conference’s recordings, all about pitching books, queries, drafting genre fiction. This reads like a legit book! I’m in awe of your A to Z theme.
Thanks! This W one was one of my faves. Glad you got a kick out of it and thank you for visiting me.