Today I have a new installment in my “Regrettable Books A to Z™” series. For those of you new to my series, this is 100% parody. You are more than welcome to laugh, snicker and guffaw at my amateurish photoshopping and blurb writing. Bad is good. Good is bad.
How about a shifter romance?
X is for Xandra, our favorite tiger shifter
First the tagline:
Eeny, meenie, miney, male…she’s got her tigers by the tail, but if she hollers will they let her go? Eeny, meenie, miney, NO!
Orphaned in the mountains of Bhutan, Xandra Dorji has always known she was different. She’s not prepared for exactly how different, however. On her eighteenth birthday she wakes up in excruciating pain to discover she’s transformed into a white tiger.
The villagers assume she’s eaten poor Xandra and drive her away. On her own and with no survival skills, Xandra holes up in a cave and prepares to die. She awakens cold and naked and in her human form…only she’s not alone. Three male tigers are circling her, licking their chops. Seconds later, they shift into men and proclaim her to be the prophesied white queen. Each man in turn claims to be her mate.
Xandra wants nothing to do with any of the carrion-breathed heathens, but she knows she’ll perish without them. If she can keep them interested long enough to teach her basic survival skills, the next time she shifts, she’ll be outta there on the Orient Express. Only she underestimates the resourcefulness of her suitors as well as their bossiness. Xandra is one tiger who is not ready to settle down, especially given her choices.
When she unexpectedly goes into heat, mortification isn’t a strong enough word to describe her feelings. The boys are all over her and worse still….she’s feeling the urge to produce a litter of cubs!
But can she put her ambitions in second place to her instincts? And if so, how will she ever choose amongst her tiger suitors?
Eh…kinda lame. Sorry. I’m not a huge shifter story reader so I’m sure I’ve missed the best parody angles altogether. Oh well… at least I wrote you a poem! 😀
Disclaimer: “Regrettable Books A to Z™” is a completely fictional (duh!) creation for parody purposes only. I have no product beyond what you see in this post. Photos are public domain or stock photos I have purchased. This is not a commercial purpose, however, I retain any and all creative story rights in the highly unlikely event I accidentally create something that might be worth a damn.
poem? looks around – no poem – you did a good job actually – I recently re read Tanya Hiff’s second book about wolves – different. I like your stuff – next month I’ll see what you really write lol
Aww thanks, Susan. The poem was in the tagline…a very, very bad one, admittedly.
yeah that’s what I thought 😀
love this!!! thank you for stopping by!!! appreciate your posts
Hi there, Castaway! I used to LOVE Gilligan’s Island so of course I had to visit. Thanks for doing the same for me. 🙂
I’m sure I saw this on the Kindle store…
This one I’d have to agree that you probably have seen it before. It’s probably the least ridiculous and closest to what’s actually out there of all the parodies. However, I think we could use more shifter stories where the woman is more interested in escaping her suitors than being “claimed”…at least initially.