Blogging from A to Z April Challenge — “L”

L

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Today I have a new installment in my “Regrettable Books A to Z™” series. For those of you new to my series, this is 100% parody. You are more than welcome to laugh, snicker and guffaw at my amateurish photoshopping and blurb writing. Bad is good. Good is bad.

L is for Lacemaker

I’ve seen a lot of books about wives lately: The Time Traveler’s Wife, Ahab’s Wife, The Pilot’s Wife, A Reliable Wife, etc. Where are the husband books? Huh? Where? Well, let’s fix that, shall we, beginning with The Lacemaker’s Husband.

First the tagline:

Can a hardened Viking warrior and a vanquished lacemaker live together without driving each other crazy?

L4LacemakerThe blurb:

Godfrey Dottirschmulkergaard can take any woman he chooses, from any city or village he and his fellow Vikings pillage and plunder. Handsome, fierce and powerful, his conquests are the stuff of nightmares…and fantasies.

Expert tatter, Bridget MacDougal refuses to flee when the tall ships arrive in her coastal village. She’s not going to be run out of her home by anyone, let alone a savage from the north with the worst table manners of anyone she’s ever met!

Godfrey can’t believe his eyes or ears when this tiny slip of a woman not only stands up to his threats, but insists he help her wind her lace-making threads. She’s got a wedding gown to adorn and no one–civilized or not–is going to prevent her from completing the job. If torching Bridget’s house, kicking her dog and ripping her doilies to shreds hasn’t cowed her into submission, perhaps bedding the maddening lacemaker will finally break her spirit.

But if Godfrey wants the MacDougal lairdship as the cherry on top, he’ll also have to marry Bridget and establish conjugal residency for six months. Can a Viking warrior survive a half year of domesticity with the beautiful red-headed harridan or will Bridget’s fiery temper drive Godfrey to beg for an early ship to Valhalla?

Who doesn’t love a good hen-pecked Viking story? **scans the room for raised hands and finding none sighs** Did I mention this was a parody?

***

Disclaimer: “Regrettable Books A to Z™” is a completely fictional (duh!) creation for parody purposes only. I have no product beyond what you see in this post. Photos are public domain or stock photos I have purchased. This is not a commercial purpose, however, I retain any and all creative story rights in the highly unlikely event I accidentally create something that might be worth a damn.

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14 thoughts on “Blogging from A to Z April Challenge — “L”

  1. Awesome theme. Love it! The funny part is I could totally see this book being written. I love that you even mock the way so many historic romance writers get basic facts wrong–for example red hair didn’t come into the gene pool in Scotland until AFTER the Vikings arrived because they brought it. The original Celts are small and dark.

    The dude’s unpronounceable last name is icing on the cake. Awesome, awesome, awesome.

    Happy A-Zing
    Laurel
    Laurel’s Leaves

    • haha, Laurel, you busted me! I don’t write historical fiction for precisely the reason you pointed out–it’s too hard to get right without research and I never liked history! But it’s super fun to poke fun at and I am a big fan of reading historical romances. Thanks for the visit and comment! 🙂

  2. good thing I can do math. Hey thanks for your comment. I think I commented on here before but now I’ve noted the address. You do realise – of course you do – that if you put this out as a “real” book no one would know the difference. Will be curious to see what you really write

    • Ugh…sorry about the Captcha but my security plugin got upgraded into crippling effectiveness keeping not only hackers away but legitimate visitors AND me too so I had to replace it at the last minute before going out of town. The new plugin is not much better, only works if I turn Captcha on otherwise no one can comment at all! Wah…I’m so frustrated with the darned thing but haven’t had a chance to wrestle with it yet again. Free wordpress is looking better and better, let me tell ya!

      Some of these regrettables I can actually see myself writing, albeit perhaps not quite so ridiculous. Others….no, just no. LOL

  3. This is wonderful – so happy you found me and The Boys. I miss those days when I could leisurely read, not happening in my life right now. I must forward this to my daughter, she loves literature, and would enjoy reading your posts. Thanks Claire
    PS: Would love to see a photo of your Doodle….

  4. I’ll be honest, at the start of this, I thought the title was going to be “The Lacemaker’s Wife” and I was super prepped for a warrior woman on a mission to claim the (perhaps disabled) hunk of a lacemaker, ’cause he seems like the sort who wouldn’t get in her way. But wouldn’t you know, he’s so much stronger than he looks, ‘specially when he’s got his arms around her…

    Now you’ve got me doing it! XD

    Delightful as always.

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