Book two in my “Regrettable Books A to Z™” series. For those of you new to my series, this is 100% parody. You are more than welcome to laugh, snicker and guffaw at my amateurish photoshopping and blurb writing. Bad is good. Good is bad.

B is for billionaire.

I decided to futz around with the obsessive, spoiled billionaire who buys women for his playthings then falls for them:

The Tagline:

Sometimes the best things in life are free and right under our noses. All we have to do is look down.

The blurb:

Jane Ash delivers flowers and gifts, makes reservations, and arranges beauty salon, waxing and OB-GYN appointments–all in a day’s work for her very spoiled and debauched billionaire boss and his string of spicy numbers. Jane’s job description also includes cleaning up tearful messes and other loose ends when the “companion contracts” end. If it weren’t for the secret pranks of swapping donkey-sized condoms for her employer’s average-sized stash, she’d lose her ever-loving mind, despite the healthy paycheck.

Christian Gideon never thought he’d grow weary of the fairer sex’s charms, but after giving the heave ho to number thirty-one, that seems to be the case. He’s had women of all hair colors, heights, weights and temperaments, and has tried every position in the Kama Sutra, twice! Perhaps he should let that annoying girl Friday of his go if he can’t keep her busy. Heaven knows she must be missing doling out her usual sneers and digs.

When Jane’s step-sister, Isabelle, bullies her way into an introduction, Christian seizes upon a new form of entertainment. Putting Jane at Isabelle’s imperious beck and call–at least for a few weeks–is the best entertainment he’s had in a long time. Until Jane finally snaps and flees, leaving only a single Easy Spirit pump, size 12, behind. Will Christian be able to find his girl Friday once he realizes that the most important spice in his life has never been anything more exotic than plain table salt?

***

What will C bring us tomorrow?  Hmm…

Disclaimer: “Regrettable Book of the Day™” is a completely fictional (duh!) creation for parody purposes only. I have no product beyond what you see in this post. Photos are public domain or stock photos I have purchased. This is not a commercial purpose, however, I retain any and all creative story rights in the highly unlikely event I accidentally create something that might be worth a damn.

Welcome to my third year of participation in the Blogging A to Z April Challenge!

My first year was mostly about my march toward publication of my debut novel with a few other random type posts interspersed.

Last year, I told a story about 500 words at a time.

This year, I’m going for a combination of visual and literary humor. Most of you won’t have seen my REGRETTABLE BOOKS before. But even if you have over at my sister site, LilaShaw.com (that’s my other pen name that will show up on some of the covers), I’ll start off the challenge with a brand new one!

So, the process is this:  each day I’ll post a book cover, a tagline and a blurb for a non-existent book. Hopefully they make you groan, laugh, or cringe because they are intended to be parodies of well-known tropes, mostly in romantic fiction, but some on the naughtier side (blurbs and pictures are safe). I also employ my “regrettable” skills at Photoshop Elements to design a book cover, because cover reveals are just so much fun! Remember, bad is good, good is bad.

A is for Amish.

Tagline:

Riding tame and plain has just met a road block named Grunt.

Blurb:

Sarah Yoder is a God-fearing woman, but her patriarchal society has pushed her to her breaking point. She’s ready to embrace her wilder side and cast off the yoke of plain and subservient (hair bun and practical white cotton panties excepted.)

Grunt is every woman’s desire and her worst nightmare in the same pair of biker boots. Orphaned as a kid and forced to grow up on the mean streets of Philadelphia, he’ll fight, steal and cheat for what he wants. That now happens to be the pretty little Amish female who knocked over his bike.

Daniel Lapp will do whatever it takes to protect Sarah, even if it means giving up his beloved horse and buggy for one hundred times the power between his legs. But is his love strong enough to see him through a deadly initiation ritual into Grunt’s club or will it unleash all the hidden demons neither he nor Sarah knew he had inside?

Be sure to visit me again tomorrow for: B: The Billionaire’s Cinderella.

Disclaimer: “Regrettable Books A to Z™” is a completely fictional (duh!) creation for parody purposes only. I have no product beyond what you see in this post. Photos are public domain or stock photos I have purchased. This is not a commercial use, however, I retain any and all creative story rights in the highly unlikely event I accidentally create something that might be worth a damn.