June’s Blog Chain is about presenting a scene that defines your main character’s attitude. I was preceded by my wonderful writing buddy Aimee Laine and will be followed by Lyra Jean. The other chain participants are listed at the end of my post.
I’ve selected a scene from my current WIP, My Fair Vampire, between Dori (a paranormal Eliza Doolittle) and her maker, Donovan (a paranormal Henry Higgins). The pair have a love-hate relationship. This scene occurs after Dori admits to rendezvousing with a sympathetic vampire slayer. She has also begun to assert herself more with Donovan as her skills have improved. It’s a little long and early draftish; sorry.
I didn’t see Donovan again until three nights later.
“Where’ve you been?” I asked when he strolled in barely ten minutes before sunrise. I noticed he’d also cut his hair short.
“Council business. Damage control. Sending messages to those who threaten us. Visiting friends. The usual.” He fell onto the sofa, head thrown back against the cushions, and propped his feet on the coffee table. His boots sprayed a fine shower of sand on the surface.
“Did you go looking for those hunters who were after us the other night?” I sat in the chair nearest him, leaned forward with my elbows on my knees.
He cracked open the eyes he’d closed and shook his head.
“Who’d you visit?”
Eyes closed, he wasn’t asleep but he didn’t answer me either.
“Looks like you went to the Bosque? How come?” I pointed to his boots, at the seeds from the cottonwood trees that grew near the banks of the Rio Grande, cotton-like wisps that still clung to the soles.
“What is this? Twenty fucking questions?” He swung his long legs off the table, went inside his office and kicked the door shut behind him.
“Someone’s a moody prick this morning isn’t he?!” I don’t know why he aggravated me so much, what made me snap and compelled me to go after him. I entered his office without knocking, and closed the door behind me just as loudly as he’d done.
He was typing at his computer when I dropped into the guest chair opposite him. I swung my socked feet on top of his desk, leaned back and crossed my arms and waited.
He lifted his eyes slowly to meet mine, jaw muscles clenched. “If you know what’s good for you, you’ll leave me now.” His words came out like a low growl. It wasn’t enough to deter me from my recklessness.
“I want to know what your dealio is. I want to know why you’ve been threatening me with this mythical Vampire Council, telling me that I had a year to prove myself or they’d stake me. I want to know why my mother asked you to watch over me. I want to know why David is so keen on taking over my training. I want to know why you’ve been lying to me from day one.” I pulled my legs down and stood so he’d have to look up at me. “And I want to know why you won’t teach me the friggin’ hypnosis.” The last bit came out from between gritted teeth.
He slammed his fist on the table and stood too. “Get out!” He reacquainted me with the location of the door with a stab of his finger in that direction.
“No! Not until I get some answers!” I crossed my arms and braced for a humdinger of a battle. I didn’t allow myself even a second to consider the insanity of challenging a nearly three hundred year old vampire who could polish his fangs with me.
I felt him pushing and shoving at the edges of my mind but I fortified myself and pushed back. I closed my eyes and thrust him out with all the determination I could muster. A loud whump broke my concentration and I opened my eyes to see Donovan sprawled in his chair. His jaw slack and eyes wide, he stared up at me. With what sounded like a grunt of frustration, he raised his hand and squeezed the empty space near his face. An invisible vise clamped down on my neck but as it did, a memory rushed back into my consciousness.
“What bet?!” I wheezed.
He dropped his hand to his hip, the vise released and a question mark on his face.
I seized his eyes and held fast. “I remember now. You and Veronica made a bet about me the night we went to the Caravan. What was it?” My voice had risen to a near screech.
“It’s almost sunrise. You need to get to your room, now.” He stood and walked toward the door.
“I’m not sleepy and I still have questions I need you to answer.” I stomped my foot, but socks on plush carpeting muffled the outrage I’d hoped to express. No way was I leaving his office until he gave up the information I needed. He could choke me all he liked but now that I had figured out how to block him from my head, the rules of the game had changed.
“It’s not a matter of being sleepy; it’s a matter of reverting back to a corpse in less than five minutes. You need to be safe in your room for hibernation. If you collapse where you now stand, not only will it piss Elena off, but the sun will fry you. Maybe not too bad here in my office, but you’ll at least get a nasty sunburn.” He reached for my hand and tried to pull me away but I held my ground.
“Just tell me and we can go!”
He released my hand and rolled his eyes. “Very well. I bet Veronica that we’d be in and out of the Caravan within a hour and she said it’d take longer for you to get your feeding done.”
I sniffed. “Well, that’s not that bad. Why wouldn’t you let her just say it then?”
“Because I figured you’d be pissed we placed bets on your ineptness. Plus, I never lose a bet because I always find ways to hedge them, as Veronica should have known.”
That caught my attention. “How did you hedge me?”
“I gave Randy a discount on you.” He shrugged and started for the stairs.
“You what!” I grabbed his arm to stop him. “You sold me to him like a hooker? And for a discount?”
He spun to face me. “So what? You’d get what you wanted and he’d think he got what he wanted and we’d be out of there within an hour and–”
“You’d win the bet.” I shook my head as the rage stoked within me. “You’re despicable.”
“I do what I have to do. It’s not like you’re the easiest–”
“How dare you! How dare you even pretend to sell me like a, a prostitute! You are the worst sire ever!” I advanced on him as I spoke until I stood toe to toe with him.
“What the hell difference does it make the methods I use in your training? It’s not like you would have actually had to sleep with the guy.” He glared down at me before darting his eyes to the window near the door. I could smell the spike in his anxiety as the sun rose higher.
I tapped my chest and said, “It makes a difference to me! It matters to me! I have my pride too, you know. Oh sure, I put up with the endless digs and taunts of those two.” I pointed upstairs to the rooms where Veronica and Jacinda had retired almost an hour earlier. “But I will not sink to their depths nor will I allow you to let anyone mistakenly believe that I have. You can’t make me like those two. I won’t do it. I’ll never do it. You had no right, Donovan, no right!”
“You can just climb right down off your high horse, sweetheart, because guess what? Whether you like it not, you’ve moved to the same link in the food chain as us. There is nothing dishonorable about doing whatever it takes to survive. My job is to teach you how to do that in a world that doesn’t embrace us with open arms, doesn’t want to know about us, can’t know about us. There are no fast food joints for our kind. Hell, there’s not even a 7-11. The sooner you get that through your thick…” Donovan’s eyes rolled back in his head and he collapsed in a heap on the floor.
You can read more about Dori at her blog here: Diary of A Reluctant Vampire
LadyMage: http://www.katherinegilraine.com and direct link to her post
FreshHell: http://freshhell.wordpress.com/ and direct link to her post
Collectonian: http://collectonian.livejournal.com and direct link to her post
Aimee Laine: http://www.aimeelaine.com/writing/blog and direct link to her post
AuburnAssassin: https://clairegillian.wordpress.com/ You Are Here
Lyra Jean: http://lyratorres.wordpress.com/ and direct link to her post
Aheïla: http://thewriteaholicblog.wordpress.com/ and direct link to her post
ArcticFox: http://picaresqueblog.blogspot.com/ and direct link to her post
Fokker Aeroplanbau: http://rightfarright.blogspot.com/ and direct link to his post
Alpha Echo: http://writersramblings81.blogspot.com/ and direct link to her post
xcomplex: http://arielemerald.blogspot.com/ and direct link to her post
CScottMorris: http://cscottmorrisbooks.com/ and direct link to his post
egoodlett: http://wordlarceny.blogspot.com/ and direct link to her post
Lilain: http://abigailschmidt.blogspot.com/ and direct link to her post
defyalllogic: http://tavialewis.com/hyperbolicallyspeaking/ and direct link to her post
*RomanceWriter*: http://www.staceyespino.blogspot.com and direct link to her post
IrishAnnie: http://superpenpower.blogspot.com and direct link to her post
CowgirlPoet: http://frontnotes.blogspot.com/ and direct link to her post
Anarchicq: http://anarchicq.com/ and direct link to her post
hillaryjacques: www.hillaryjacques.blogspot.com and direct link to her post
Proach: http://desstories.blogspot.com and direct link to her post
devero: http://mysticcrossroads.wordpress.com/ and direct link to his post
I like this! And, because I’m curious and the idea of a reluctant vampire is piquing my curiosity – how did she get turned?
Thanks, Katherine. If you go to Dori’s blog and scroll down to one of her first entries, you get a little bit more of her perspective, when she changed, etc. Her sire’s perspective and motivation for turning her is slowly revealed as the book progresses so I can’t give that away just yet. 😉
I swear … the more I read about these two, the more I laugh.
” I stomped my foot, but socks on plush carpeting muffled the outrage I’d hoped to express.”
“Donovan’s eyes rolled back in his head and he collapsed in a heap on the floor.”
Thanks Aimee! I look forward to handing over the continuation of this scene to you…heh-heh.
Hilarious. I love it. We are all so talented, are we not? 🙂
Thanks so much! I am indeed keeping company with some awesome writers.
“You are the worst sire ever!” That line made me giggle 🙂 And also the passing out. I like the dialogue and the way she interacts with him. I’m definitely seeing the supernatural Eliza Doolittle aspect! … And now I have “just you wait, ‘enry ‘iggins” in my head >.>
Thanks. I’ve been having fun putting in oblique references to the original My Fair Lady, some obvious, some not so obvious.
I love Dori’s courage. She demanded answers despite the fact that if Donovan really wanted too he could just kill her and, at least as far as I know, no one would care if he did.
You know, I never even considered that he might kill her to just to get rid of his problem once and for all…and neither did Dori…but as a stand alone scene, I can well see how that might have been a very valid fear. Thanks.
Cliffhanger blog posts, argh! 🙂 She is a feisty woman, for sure, and I could definitely see some Eliza in her (having finally seen My Fair Lady just a few months ago LOL)
I need to rent My Fair Lady. I don’t think I’ve seen it since I was a child. Thanks for the read!
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Okay, so I do NOT like vampire novels. As a general rule I do not read them.
You have the conflict sizzling so much in this scene that it absolutely wows me! Not because they’re vampires or anything but just because they are so fully fleshed out as characters! WAY TO GO! 🙂
You even had me fascinated by the end. 🙂
What a nice compliment. Thank you!
*imagines a 7-11 for vampires and laughs* Nice work. I love writing arguments. They are so dynamic.
Agree–dynamic and easy, much easier for me than writing narratives. Thanks.
Wow, what a great read. I love Dori and her humor and strength! Easy and a joy to read!
Thank you! I’m glad you liked it.
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Such an awesome read! And the ending is just the icing on the cake.
The build up is well done. Just when Donovan starts to hammer what sounds like the winning argument, Dori actually takes the cake.
Witty, charming, and hilarious. It makes me wish life was really this funny.
Thank you! If only we could write our own HEA’s too (happily ever afters).
I really like the tension between the two vampire characters, Claire Gillian. This is quite good for a rough draft.
Thank you so much! Thankfully, my dialogue usually requires less editing than my exposition.
But…but I want more. Fantastic tension! I love the softened blow of the sock foot stomp on heavy carpet.
I’d love to give you more…and the rest of the paranormal romance readers of the world. Hopefully one day…
Oh wow! Tell me when this comes out because I must have it! You’re a great writer, and your dialogue was perfect and brought your characters to life!
Thank you. I hope I can let you know when it comes out some day. I see you’ve got one coming out in a few days that I’ve been eyeing. It’s naughtier than my usual reads but I don’t usually let that stop me. 😉 Good luck with your sales.
Wow. Definitely a lot of character sizzling there. Interesting difference from the usual moody, lyrical vampire-ish style.
Oh, Donovan’s moody too but also funny, musical, sarcastic and smart…sigh…and did I mention black Irish? Thanks for the read!
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I love this charming twist on a classic story, but now I want to know why he collapsed!
Sun comes up, Donovan goes down, out like a light. But why didn’t Dori go down too? Hmm…there’s something peculiar about her. Thanks for the read!
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