Welcome to the “Regrettable Books A to Z™” nonsense. For those of you new to my series, this is 100% parody. You are more than welcome to laugh, snicker and guffaw at my amateurish photoshopping and blurb writing. Bad is good. Good is bad.
I is for…Ironman.
This one is all about the bare chest, the male bare chest, specifically and in every sense of the word.
Beauty may only be skin deep but desire goes deeper than muscle.
Tina Theriot hates to exercise. It’s messy, smelly and the most uncouth grunting noises always seem to accompany exertion. No thank you. Walking the mall in search of the perfect high heel is the closest she’ll get and that includes frequent breaks to see and be seen in the Galleria coffee shop.
Tina is exactly the sort of woman Dick Manley despises–spoiled, pampered and more concerned with camouflaging her body flaws with expensive designer wear than in perfecting what God gave her. The only thing worse than women like Tina are women who hire him as their personal trainer and expect overnight results in time for their class reunion. He’s spent nearly twenty years battling his childhood pudge the old-fashioned way–through hard work. There are no magic pills or lotions or creams.
When Tina’s son is diagnosed with type two diabetes, the single mother realizes she must set a better example and seeks out Dick’s personal training services. Though he is quite possibly the rudest, most belligerent muscle-head she’s ever met, she’s determined to change for her son’s sake. At least Dick’s got a decent six-pack and a pair of buttocks tight enough to bounce a Jimmy Choo off.
Can Dick see the iron-hearted woman lurking beneath those extra pounds? Can Tina see beyond the hardbody exterior hiding the wounded soul of a bullied boy? And if they can, will that insight lead to contempt or love or just another transaction for both of them? Will Tina lose the weight? Will Dick set aside his fat prejudices? Does Jimmy Choo make a sneaker? Is Dick’s tummy divet and inny or an outie?
OK, I sort of devolved into wackiness with that last regrettable paragraph, but it was getting late and I was tired so you get what you get.
Disclaimer: “Regrettable Books A to Z™” is a completely fictional (duh!) creation for parody purposes only. I have no product beyond what you see in this post. Photos are public domain or stock photos I have purchased. This is not a commercial purpose, however, I retain any and all creative story rights in the highly unlikely event I accidentally create something that might be worth a damn.
well done – I’ll have to come back for more
THank you, Susan. A repeat visit would be lovely. With all the thousands of blogs out there to visit, I appreciate even a single visit and comment. Cheers!
AHH! Once again I’m stuck to this blurb. I want more~ I would read it. You’re amazing! X3
Finally back online after being internet-less for a WEEK! Don’t feel too sorry for me; I was on a cruise. Back now and catching up on my comments and blog visits.
Thank you for your continued visits and encouragement. It means a lot to me. 🙂
I like how the woman’s hair looks like she took a blowdryer to it. Also, I keep wondering where the man’s groin went, haha. Excellent blurb, per the usual. 🙂 Having a blast reading them!
Thanks, Alex. Yeah *snort*, this is also regrettable photoshopping. I used a free pic of a lady lying down getting a massage that I turned sideways to give the wind in her hair effect. I really can’t understand why the Big Five publishers haven’t been beating down my door begging me to make covers for them with gems like this and the others. 😉
I have to admit, I spit out a bit of coffee when I saw that cover. Brilliant.
Glad to make you laugh. Hope you didn’t spit on anything important though. 😉 Thanks for visiting me and commenting.