Welcome to the “Regrettable Books A to Z™” nonsense. For those of you new to my series, this is 100% parody. You are more than welcome to laugh, snicker and guffaw at my amateurish photoshopping and blurb writing. Bad is good. Good is bad.
J is for Jumpshot.
How about a sports-themed romance with a monochromatic cover? Sound and look familiar? Let’s see how silly I can make it.
The Tagline:
Love knows no boundaries.
The blurb:
D’Eston’eE Dufresne’s motto is “Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice and I’ll burn your fucking house down!” She’s tired of the game of love and has sworn off men. Players, all of them. As chief statistician for the Studs, a professional men’s basketball team from Kentucky, easier said than done since she’s around the more aggravating sex All. Day. Long.
LeJuan Beauregard has never met a woman who didn’t leap into his bed…eventually. The odds are in his favor that the prickly little spitfire who records all his baskets, rebounds, and free-throw percentages, will find her way there, too. He’ll turn up the charm to eleven and pursue his target night and day to make sure that happens.
When D’Eston’eE and LeJuan miss the bus home after a crushing defeat by the Okefenokee Swampers, they are forced to endure harsh elements, creepy backwoods natives and a wild ride on a raft down the rapids with an amorous pig farmer in pursuit. D’Eston’eE is nearly ready to give in to a night of passion with her dribbling savior until she learns a brutal truth: LeJuan grew up in the Okefenokee and might have had a hand in engineering the entire ordeal…if they were ever in danger to begin with.
Can LeJuan prove to the only woman to capture his heart that he’s an innocent victim of circumstances or will D’Eston’eE’s fury incinerate not only his hopes but the man himself?
Ok, so I threw a little Deliverance in there for shits and giggles, too. And did you figure out that the heroine’s name was pronounced like “Destiny”? Told you these were supposed to be bad, bad, bad. This one can’t be anything but that. Really.
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Disclaimer: “Regrettable Books A to Z™” is a completely fictional (duh!) creation for parody purposes only. I have no product beyond what you see in this post. Photos are public domain or stock photos I have purchased. This is not a commercial purpose, however, I retain any and all creative story rights in the highly unlikely event I accidentally create something that might be worth a damn.
Haha, this one would tick me off if I read it, I’m sure. I’d be rooting for the heroine to stab her Stud in some uncomfortable places while he slept.
She very well might stab him…I tend to write contrarian heroines who like to bicker. Thank you for the visit and comment. 🙂
The Okefenokee Swampers – hahaha! I really enjoyed this. Thanks for the laughs!
Lexa Cain’s Blog
Haha, glad I could make you laugh, Lexa. THank you for the visit and nice comment.
Love it. Your theme for A to Z has me hooked.
Thank you, Elsie! So glad to have you visit and comment.
This is a very clever theme, and I love the blurbs!
Thank you so much, John. I appreciate the visit and encouragement.
I’m voting for the pig farmer! They need more love. 😉
I’ll keep that in mind. I still have covers / blurbs to do for X, Y and Z. Maybe I’ll write a sequel to this one called X is for Xander as in: “Makin’ Bacon with Xander” heh-heh.